My Testimony

I consider my true spiritual birthday one week before October 12th, 2024, when I attended a revival at Jentezen Franklin's church in Gainesville, GA. After Hurricane Helene ripped through my hometown and forced my family and me to temporarily evacuate, I found myself pouring out my deepest, darkest secrets to a group of believers devoting themselves to deliverance, prayer, and baptism. One of them baptized me in Lake Lanier after service. That moment marked a drastic turning point. It was about dying to self, to the past, and entering into a genuine relationship with Yeshua. That day, I was made new.I had been baptized before and grew up in church, but also carried memories of abuse within it. I had backslidden horrendously because I didn’t truly know Yeshua—not as my personal Savior or Friend. I had only encountered Him through the lens of hurt communities. I survived childhood trauma, including sexual abuse, and struggled to reconcile a “He” God when I had no relationship with my father. Judgments in the church wounded me deeper, as my trauma was often labeled spiritual failure rather than seen through a trauma-informed lens. I couldn’t make peace with that God. I asked, “Are you a narcissist?” I wrestled with this question through science, shamanism, and silence.But at my lowest—divorced, friendless, and depressed—I felt Him. Yeshua. Tangibly. A Shepherd who left the 99 for the broken one. He never left me. Even when I wandered, His voice quietly called me: “Come home.” Until one day, I did. I bent my knee and surrendered everything. I couldn’t be around church people yet. The judgment was still raw. But I began praying. I got remarried. I found a therapist who also specialized in deliverance. A year of therapy and preparation later, seeds of healing took root. I went back to college, lived in Korea for a year, and still battled religious fear—but I was seeking.

Yom Kippur 2024: The Esther Event

After the baptism at Lake Lanier, I lost touch with those who had helped me. I ached for a spiritual family. Driving one day, I heard a call on the radio for the Million Women gathering in D.C.—what I now call the Esther Event. It took place on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I joined. I fasted. I prayed. I declared with thousands of modern Esthers that I was made new. And when the altar of Ishtar was smashed to dust on the National Mall, I felt it. My soul was finally set free.October 12th, 2024, became my truest spiritual marker. Alongside a million women, I didn’t just repent—I interceded. Like Esther before King Xerxes, I cried out for America. When the altar shattered, I asked the Holy Spirit to replace that influence with His fire and the Esther anointing that overwhelmed that place.

The Queen Esther Anointing

In the weeks that followed, I felt a pull to consecrate. To research. To create. I was stirred to make oils—not the cheap kind, but sacred, precious ones like God commanded in Scripture. My time in shamanism showed me how seriously spiritual people treat their altars. How much more should followers of Yeshua? I began studying all the verses in the bible about  biblical oils, temples, and the story of Esther. Sermons about anointing surrounded me. Torah study came next, with help from a female rabbi who pointed me toward Messianic teachings—though she didn’t believe in Yeshua herself. She told me, “Torah is for everyone.”It was like drinking living water after years of drought.

Research: Unveiling Queen Esther

1. Historical Foundations: Esther in the Persian Court Set during the reign of Xerxes I, Esther’s story unfolds in an empire stretching from India to Ethiopia. Royal women lived in harems, guarded by eunuchs and prepped with beauty rituals. Historically, this life involved trauma, competition, and isolation. Queen Amestris, Xerxes’ known wife, may have co-existed with Esther, or been distinct altogether. Due to archive destruction, verification is hard—but not impossible. Esther was likely a legally favored wife, not the chief queen (banbishn), but loved.

2. Rituals of Preparation: The Myrrh and the Oil Esther prepared for twelve months—six with myrrh, six with perfumes (Esther 2:12). Myrrh (Commiphora myrrha) was more than cosmetic—it healed skin, prevented infection, and protected the King. I recreated these oils in my product line using Dead Sea salt, negev rose, and frankincense, as a symbol of preparing for God as my King

3. Crowns and Consorts: Was Esther Politically Powerful? “Queen” could be ceremonial. Esther, an orphan from Susa, likely couldn’t claim political power. Still, her favor was extraordinary. Xerxes gifting her Haman’s estate showed legal status and trust. While she may not have held political authority like Amestris, she wielded influence—and that influence saved a nation.

4. Erasure and Hiddenness: Why Was Esther Forgotten? Why no Persian records? Possibly:

• Her identity was hidden and protected.
• Palace rivals erased her.
• She was isolated post-Xerxes’ assassination.

No biblical mention exists after the climax. No children. No ending. Perhaps her life, though brave, was bittersweet. Still, God ensured her legacy endured because He remembered her, even if history did not. The theme of hiddenness parallels trauma. So many survivors go unseen—yet like Esther, they matter to God.

5. Theological Resonance: Esther’s story is one of intercession. Of boldness. Of obedience. She is a prophetic image of modern women being called to rise after counting the cost. Her life speaks into the trauma and healing of nations. Her voice, like ours, matters.

6. Personal Reflection: My Esther Awakening At the Esther event, I was commissioned. I saw myself as a modern Esther—scarred, surrendered, crowned. The image on this blog I created reflects that spiritual image: oil in one hand, a sword in the other, kneeling to my King. My business, Warriors Recovery LLC, was born of that moment. I’m here to integrate trauma recovery, neuroscience, and biblical research—because the church must be trauma-informed and is causing more damage than healing and we are called to be a light, not a harm. 

The Scroll Is Still Being Written Esther’s legacy is alive in everyone who dares to walk into the inner court. My oils, my research, my worship—they are echoes of that sacred scroll. For such a time as this, the modern-day Esthers are rising. 

Stay tuned for future blogs! 

 © 2024 Warriors Recovery LLC. All rights reserved. This blog, including all text, images, and original research, is the intellectual property of  Warriors Recovery LLC.  No portion of this content may be copied, reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission, except for brief quotations for educational or non-commercial purposes with proper attribution. All Scripture/Research references are used respectfully and for educational purposes. Warriors Recovery LLC is a faith-based initiative committed to trauma-informed healing and biblical practice.